Thirty Eight Weeks, Two Days

On Tuesday, I had my last non-stress test and regular doctor's appointments. The stress test went perfect and at my appointment she said that not much had changed....still 3 cm and 50% effaced. I had just finished telling the doctor that the PUPPP had cleared up and I felt like I was good to go the rest of the time when she tells me she's leaving for vacation. So now I had the choice to induce and for sure have her as my doctor...or leave it to chance as to which doctor would be on-call if I delivered next week. This same, exact thing happened to me with Elias. I chose induction with him (only 4 days early) because I was a first-timer. This time I wasn't so sure and I wanted to talk to Steve first.

Of course, he said he didn't care what I chose. My mom thought I should go ahead and be induced. Linda didn't say anything. So I decided to go ahead with the induction since we've had a few glitches here and there with the boys and I'm a little nervous about being a high-risk pregnancy with a doctor I've never met before. And the PUPPP was starting to come back after being off the meds. I really couldn't face that again.

So here I am, at 1:30 am on Thursday morning, not able to sleep. My restless legs are keeping me up...along with my anxiousness and nerves and excitement. I have to get up in 4 hours, but I keep wondering about how tomorrow is going to go. Will I be able to deliver both vaginally, or will I end up with a c-section? Will the boys be healthy? How am I gonna handle two newborns at once? Will the induction even work? How long will it take? Elias took 24 hours. And so on and so on.

Today was my last day with just me and the boy. We really didn't do much. I really can't do much. But as we were running errands, he says to me, "Mom, I hope you don't die." Wow. What a thing for a kid to be worrying about. He went on to tell me that if I died, Daddy would never, ever be able to leave again. So now, I'm worried about that too! Later tonight, after we had dropped Elias off (at Mimi and Papaw's), bought the stroller, gone to dinner (Olive Garden) and ice cream (Baskin Robbins) and a movie (Transformers 3)...I was telling Steve about Elias' comment and he says that he would lose two people. So sad.

Let's just hope and pray that nothing terrible happens today and that we come home healthy with two beautiful baby boys that are going to change our world forever.